American Dreamz

A new movie. Fictional, or so says Dennis Quaid. It's about a pres, from Texas, whose dad was pres, whose poll numbers are in the toilet, and who doesn't read the papers or think for himself. He starts to read the papers.

Life imitates art...and I can't WAIT to see this.

Opens Friday.

Tourists asked to take up the slack

The US State Department has issued a 16 (god, I'm really hating that number) point memo on how Americans should act when in a foreign country. Here are the ones listed in the piece, with a bit of my own, very late nite commentary. Woohoo!

• Think as big as you like but talk and act smaller. (In many countries, any form of boasting is considered very rude. Talking about wealth, power or status - corporate or personal - can create resentment.)
  
  So can going into foreign countries and taking them over, then leaving them to swelter in a violence you are unwilling to do the work to remedy.

• Listen at least as much as you talk. (By all means, talk about America and your life in our country. But also ask people you're visiting about themselves and their way of life.)
  
  I think this would be better served as simply "Listen." To your generals, to your soldiers, to your entire constituency...

• Save the lectures for your kids. (Whatever your subject of discussion, let it be a discussion not a lecture. Justified or not, the US is seen as imposing its will on the world.)
  
  Wonder why...oh yeah. Never mind.

• Think a little locally. (Try to find a few topics that are important in the local popular culture. Remember, most people in the world have little or no interest in the World Series or the Super Bowl. What we call "soccer" is football everywhere else. And it's the most popular sport on the planet.)
  
  In other words, try to be a little less xenophobic. Other countries aren't out to get us. Read a newspaper or watch the local news. Don't act like you're a president and above such things.

• Slow down. (We talk fast, eat fast, move fast, live fast. Many cultures do not.)
  
  Invade too fast, plan on nuking too fast...

• Speak lower and slower. (A loud voice is often perceived as bragging. A fast talker can be seen as aggressive and threatening.)
  
  But not so slow that the other person falls asleep. And try to pronounce things in a way that they can recognize.

• Your religion is your religion and not necessarily theirs. (Religion is usually considered deeply personal, not a subject for public discussions.)
  
  Interesting. The State Department suggests this for visiting foreign countries, but here there's functionally only one religion, Bill of Rights to the contrary.

• If you talk politics, talk - don't argue. (Steer clear of arguments about American politics, even if someone is attacking US politicians or policies. Agree to disagree.
  

  And what if you agree?

Here's the mentality behind this list:

Keith Reinhard, one of New York's top advertising executives, who heads BDA, said: "Surveys consistently show that Americans are viewed as arrogant, insensitive, over-materialistic and ignorant about local values. That, in short, is the image of the Ugly American abroad and we want to change it."

We had problems with this before, sure, and those survey results existed before, but not to the level where we're at now. We've become outlaws, forcing our will on other countries. That a survey should say that we're "arrogant, over-materialistic and ignorant about local values" surely can't be surprising: We're imposing our will as God's will in foreign lands, we buy and buy and buy until we're gorged to the gills with "stuff", and we're ignorant about our own values and the fact they are as diverse as the people who have them. This mentality starts and is reinforced at the top.

Perhaps this list should be sent to Bush. Seems like he could use it.

Tom Cruise really annoys me

He's apparently having spectacular sex and thinks it's a byproduct of "good communication."

Please.

It's a byproduct of viagra, Spanish Fly, and KY. Everyone knows that.

Now if someone would just shove a "spectacular" pacifier in his "spectacular" mouth and stop him from saying "spectacular..."

Gitmo may get Brit

Gary McKinnon is a "40-year-old computer nerd" who was looking for UFO evidence, according to his lawyer, Edmund Lawson. Apparently he's also not very mature. Inspired by Wargames (remember? Matthew Broaderick, Ally Sheedy, 1983?), McKinnon allegedly hacked into Pentagon, NASA, and military networks. McKinnon was arrested and released in 2002 in Britain, but was re-arrested in 2005.

Lawson is concerned that McKinnon may be subject to Bush's whim and sent to Gitmo for not sticking to searching for UFO evidence, but branching out to "investigating the alleged activities of the US Military training of Third World secret police and military personnel in torture and interrogation techniques." Apparently, so are others.

McKinnon interviewed with C|Net back in 2005, and basically said the US government's security is more lax than an email account.

One site specifically set up to "Free Gary" makes the following points:

• Why has the legal process taken so long from November 2002, when Gary McKinnon was first arrested, and a US Grand Jury produced an indictment, for the Extradition proceedings take the next step ? Could the US Presidential election campaign have had anything to do with this delay ? Were the proceedings delayed to prevent embarassing accounts of US Military incompetence under the watch of President Bush from surfacing in court ?
• Given that all the alleged offences took place from a home computer located in London in the United Kingdom, and that they are serious enough to attract the maximum penalties under the UK Computer Misuse Act 1990, why is Gary McKinnon not being tried here in the UK ?
• Exactly as has been argued in the Babar Ahmad case [ed. link], given the xenophobic paranoia of the US authorities, what written assurance is there that Gary McKinnon, once in the power of the US Authorities, will not be handed over to a Military Tribunal, especially, as unlike Babar Ahmad, he is accused of "attacks" directly on actual US Military systems.
• We have been informed that Gary McKinnon was not only "looking for evidence of X-Files type UFO conspiracies", but also investigating the alleged activities of the US Military training of Third World secret police and military personnel in torture and interrogation techniques at the notorious School of the Americas/ Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation. In the light of this, what written assurance is there that Gary McKinnon will not be declared a "enemy combatant" and sent to the Guantanamo Bay concentration camp or subjected to "extraordinary rendition" i.e. outsourced torture in a compliant police state allied country, possibly at the hands of School of the Americas trainees ?
• Given the extraordinary lapses in computer security which an allegation of unauthorised access to sensitive military systems on this scale implies, why have no senior US Military personnel been court martialled ?

Where are the extraditions and prosecutions of all the foreigners, including citizens of the United States of America, who are attacking the United Kingdom's computer systems ? There have been none to date.

Something to think about, but it's all still percolating. Two thoughts:

1. The US should hire McKinnon to
2. Set passwords for the sys admins
   

Let me know what you think.

Read this

Christ Among the Partisans

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(Hat tip)

In which the author requires a cigarette and a can

Lance Mannion wrote a piece on cigarettes and memories the American way of sensory deprivation and writing yesterday. I intended to write about it then, but got distracted (go figure). I have the time now.

I smoke. I started when I was 22 and damned well old enough to know better, but I started nonetheless. For me, the smell of a cigarette burning brings back certain, very specific memories: Christmas at my grandparents’ with the klobasi cooking on the stove, my grandmother sharing her potassium drink with us kids (and The Saucy Master knows I still need that), watching The Six Million Dollar Man in the basement rec room of our house in Colorado. I remember grandpa burning his eyebrows after refilling his Zippo. And, for some reason, I think of picking weeds in the strawberry patch to earn spending money for Girl Scout Camp.

When I light the first one of the day, I feel this odd, albeit quite unhealthy, bond to family members I never shared a cigarette with, though I would if I could. I’ve tried to quit, but ended up missing my smoking buddies more than I enjoyed the lack of wheezing.

The smell of that first lit cigarette of the day and the resulting satisfied exhale...a feeling that is approached only by opening a new package of HoHos or having just finished cleaning the bathroom or kitchen for the fifth time in a week (my house can be a wreck, but FSM forbid that my bathroom and kitchen in disarray).

Another sensory memory (triggered by Jennifer’s comment on the above piece Lance wrote): jet fuel. I worked Christmas rush for UPS at DFW airport two years in a row. The money was better than anything I’d earned before, but what stayed with me (longer than my crush on the fork lift driver) was the smell of jet fuel. All of the packages were sorted then put onto conveyer belts where the “package handlers” picked out their packages and shoved them into air freight containers at a ridiculous rate of speed. The smells that permeated the place were vending machine coffee and jet fuel. I can smell a jet flying over before I realize it’s flying over (Southwest has really quiet planes). When I travel, I take a deep breath at the airport because it smells like home. I’m a writer. But jet fuel smells like home.

When we lived in Virginia, the temperature regularly hit 90 with 99% humidity (I could be fudging a bit on the humidity, but not by much). We spent our time outside, all summer, with friends. We’d be on back porches, front porches, play kick-the-can or football, ride bikes, play kickball...we’d be outside with other people. It was sensory overload that never got old. Adults joined in and talked politics, weather, relationships, whatever. But they were outside, too.

Where I live now, near Dallas, I don’t see people on their porches. It’s certainly hotter, but the humidity is low. The only time I see people outside is getting into their cars. Air conditioning has become a crutch (to which I cling gladly and willingly). Sometimes kids play outside, but it doesn’t last long. Oddly enough, they’re outside more during the school year than during summer break. I vaguely know my neighbors, and not from lack of trying. People don’t call up a friend with a question: they Google for the answer. They don’t ask for a cup of sugar: they drive to the store and get a 5lb bag. They don’t sit on the porch and chat: they get on the computer and chat with people they have no intention of ever meeting, nor do they really want to chat with ‘em.

Our attempts to make life more sanitized have led to lives of isolation. And kids with more allergies and asthma than ever before.

I don’t know the point of this. Perhaps turning 35 is making me think of the past more. Perhaps I just wanted to write. But this summer I will, once a week, sit on the front porch and chat on this machine, smoking with my grandparents and drinking sweet tea, instead of being locked in the house away from all the scary people. Who really aren’t all that scary. They’re just not antibacterial.

ADD with OCD

My current playlist shows the OCD part well. The fact that it's set on shuffle speaks to the ADD. I must say, though, that my Spanish is better than I thought.

1. Antologia - Shakira
2. Quiero - Shakira
3. Te Necesito - Shakira
4. Vuelve - Shakira
5. Te Espero Sentada - Shakira
6. Pies Descalzos, Suenos Blancos - Shakira
7. Se Quiere, Se Mata - Shakira
8. Estoy Aqui - Shakira
9. Un Poco De Amor - Shakira
10. Pienso En Ti - Shakira
11. Donde Estas Corazon - Shakira
12. Ciega, Sordomuda - Shakira
13. Si Te Vas - Shakira
14. Tu - Shakira
15. Donde Estan Los Ladrones? - Shakira
16. Moscas En La Casa - Shakira
17. No Creo - Shakira
18. Inevitable - Shakira
19. Octavio Dia - Shakira
20. Que Vuelvas - Shakira
21. Sombra De Ti - Shakira
22. Ojos Asi - Shakira
23. Objection (Tango) - Shakira
24. Underneath Your Clothes - Shakira
25. Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
26. Rules - Shakira
27. Ready For The Good Times - Shakira
28. Fool - Shakira
29. Te Dejo Madrid - Shakira
30. Que Me Quedes Tu - Shakira
31. Eyes Like Yours (Ojos Asi) - Shakira
32. Suerte (Whenever, Wherever) - Shakira
33. Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango) - Shakira
34. En Tus Pupilas - Shakira
35. La Pared - Shakira
36. La Tortura (Artista Invitado Alejandro Sanz) - Alejandro Sanz
37. Obtener Un Si - Shakira
38. Dia Especial (Artista Invitado Gustavo Cerati) - Shakira
39. Escondite Ingles - Shakira
40. Las de la Intuición - Shakira
41. Dia de Enero - Shakira
42. Lo Imprescindible - Shakira
43. La Pared - Shakira

Delay Quits. Blues (And Thinking People) Hurrah.

About fucking time.

This bastard has messed up Texas and US politics for far too long. We'll be paying for his shit for years....kind of like a student loan with no benefit of deducting the interest. Or something. My metaphors suck.

Anyway, Shakespeare's Sister has a piece on this, as do Pam at Pam's House Blend and Chris at Blog for America. All three are much better writers than me, plus Pam has the added bonus of Freeper indignation. I'm totally in awe of her ability to wade through that shit.

You can also read about it at the New York Times. Or, if you're adventurous, Google "tom delay quits" and find a boatload.