A Short A-Ha Moment

Based on one comment posted here earlier, the following appeared:

Almost any time that I experience discomfort (of any kind), my reactions are to

First, NON-ACCEPT the uncomfortable stimulus and then

Second, to find a way around/behind/outside/beyond/etc it, which is always accompanied by

Third, the complete failure of there being any such option or my being able to create one.

The summed-up effect of this tripartite system is that I simultaneously
a) Envision and proclaim total revolution against that stimulus and
b) Accept it anyway in my actual behaviors

So it’s as if I
a) Think with one mind, world and vision and
b) Act with a totally unrelated body to the same stimuli.

This kind of amuses me. My PRACTICE is acceptance but my THEORY is revolution.

Dissertation: constantly complained about and damned to hell, but written.
Marriage: constantly immolated in my rhetoric, but lasted seven years
Loan Payments: constantly blasted out of existence, and yet, regularly paid.
More Recent Developments: ceaselessly complained about, yet borne.

See? Over and over and over.

That big enlightenment rant? Its flavor is “I do not accept this” and yet its concluding point, in fact its entire justification, is to answer “How do I live with this?”

I don’t want to give up my monkey-ranting. I LOVE it, I’m good at it, and it reminds me of myself, it’s who I see in the mirror. Maybe I can just see it for what it is, which is a monkey flinging poo and having a good time.